How often do you give something to someone? How often do you carry out a task or help someone and expect something in return? This kind of mindset can be very demotivating and can lead to feelings of frustration when you don’t get your desired reaction. It can also take the joy out of why you are doing something. This blog will cover the art of kindness without return.
Jason Vale said ‘If you want true purpose, create magic. If you want better relationships, create magic. If you want to feel alive, create magic.’ In his book Create Magic he said the easiest way to experience magic is by creating it for others. He believed that if you gave to others you benefit in return.
Do you consciously think about what you are going to get in return, whether that’s a gift or recognition for your work? Do you think that is why you are actually carrying out those tasks? Below we will explore how you can give, without expecting something back.
In Jason Vale’s book, he really tries to get across that we all have something to give, no matter your background. Whether you are rich or poor we all have magic inside of us that we can give to someone else. It could be to help them and by helping others, we too will be happier.
One act of kindness can snowball into something much larger. Your act of kindness could lead to someone else carrying out their own act of kindness. Eventually, it will come back to you!
If you are constantly giving to people expecting something in return you aren’t really giving. This can have quite a negative impact. The law of reciprocity is a psychological principle. It states that when you give something, the recipient feels compelled to return the favour that you have done. Although this may not come back to you yourself, it will be passed forward. As one good deed inspires another.
The art of kindness without return
It’s all too easy to get into the mindset that you will get something back for your kindness. However, when you are giving to receive back, it’s not a great mindset. It comes across as selfish and can be unproductive. If you don’t get something in return you may start feeling frustration, anger, and resentment.
When you give without expecting a return, it’s a very uplifting experience that will fill you with you. Hence, when you are expecting something in return you won’t experience this.
There are many ways you can give to others without expecting in return.
How can you conduct the art of kindness?
Firstly, you need to give with a full heart! We all need love, but that love must start with ourselves. If we are completely content with ourselves, we won’t need to look outside for gratification and acknowledgement. Therefore, when our heart is full, we won’t need anything in return.
You should also give to people who don’t deserve it. If you give a gift to someone who doesn’t deserve it, you probably would not be expecting anything in return. But when you give a gift your mind and heart automatically think that you are full. It believes that you have come to terms with this person and there are no bad feelings anymore.
You should also give something because you want the other person’s life to be better. When we give to make others happy, this can fill us with enough joy to not need anything in return. Knowing you’ve made someone else happy is enough.
Furthermore, give knowing that your gift will be returned in some way. This doesn’t necessarily mean you will get something back or that you expect something back. Rather, the feeling of joy and happiness is returned to us.
Lastly, you should give for the right reason! If you are constantly thinking about what you’ll be getting in return, this will take away from your giving. Having a hidden agenda can make the whole giving process feel pointless.
Give without them knowing
Another aspect of true giving is to give without them even knowing you have done it. Don’t declare your kindness or gifting. Just do it quietly, subtly and without announcement. This is the true art of kindness without return. Jason Vale stresses the importance of giving where people are clueless that you have done it. This is the ultimate act of kindness.
Ideas to help you with the art of kindness and giving
It doesn’t always have to be grand gestures but simple things that help someone else greatly. This will fill you with the joy of giving. Here are some ideas to help you get started with the art of kindness and giving:
- Truly listening to someone who needs to vent without judgement
- Volunteering for a charity, or litter pick
- Take a friend who may be feeling down to the cinema, or for lunch
- Set up a subscription for someone, such as a magazine subscription for something they enjoy
- Find out when someone is struggling and offer to cook a meal, or fold their laundry
- Doing something for a good cause, such as helping at a homeless shelter for the day
Are you ready to begin giving?
We live in a world now where we always expect something back and it has taken the joy out of giving. The next time you go to give something to somebody or go to help someone out have a think about why you are doing those actions. Are you expecting something back? And if so try and change that mindset, try to start giving more often and not expecting anything back.
The world might feel like a much brighter place!